BAUS AFTER Baby
Journal Entry 2.19.18
Around this time last year, I quit my full-time job performing comedy at The Second City in Chicago. I found what once was a dream job to be a stifling, controlling environment that lacked the basic necessities to support a diverse pool of talent which was keeping me away from my true passions: tackling creative entrepreneurship while maintaining creative control over my life as a performance artist.
During my last two years of performing, I got pregnant. I performed 6-8 shows a week up until I was 9 months and returned to work 6 weeks after birth. Throughout, people seemed in awe that In fact I COULD do this and they didn’t realize that millions of moms in America HAD to do this. I knew that as a worker, limitations would always be in place and that in order for me to live the life that I’ve always imagined, it was my time to become my own Baus. Baby in tow or not.
Here are the two things I’ve learned that helped me make the transition from worker to Baus with a baby.
DROP THE GUILT
When I was a worker and not yet a Baus, I noticed that colleagues interacted differently with me than other fathers who had the same exact job as me. They would always ask the dads, “How’s your baby?”. They would always ask ME, “Where is my baby?” It’s important to note that my full-time job was comedy. Live theatre. Shows that started at 11 pm. My co-workers subconsciously were really saying, “but if you’re here, where is your child?”
Often times people are actually in awe of you and don’t understand how you’re “doing it all.” Don’t internalize the limitations of others.
Your baby, your partner, your family, your business partners, your friends, your clients, your followers, your agents, your managers, - they all want a piece and you determine how much time and brain space you have to give. Let the inner guide that has gotten you this far aide you in setting your priorities. Mama Baus knows best. Maybe this weekend isn’t to catch up on business. Instead, round up your crew and opt for a girls night. Maybe it’s time for the little one to go to grandma’s so you can have time with your partner and finally, wear that dress you’ve been pushing to the back of your closet for months. Most importantly, don’t neglect yourself trying to please others.
Got any more lessons to add? What are ways that you Baus up?